In the midst of things seemingly falling apart, these writers still know how to put some POP in the convos between their characters. Even Klaus’s speech as we’re shown just exactly who Roman is, and what he appears to be up to . . . is amazing.
Here’s my favorite lines from this episode:
Klaus: Rise and shine, Nightwalker Nation! If it was your aim to get my attention, then I must say you’ve been wildly successful. I am now, singularly, focused on your impending suffering.
Greta: Its me you’re looking for. Perhaps we should talk.
Greta: You and I have a friend in common.
Klaus: Oh, I sincerely doubt that.
Klaus: Or perhaps, August, the ugliness is the result of the artist lacking of any discernable talent.
Elijah: Derivative. And so, extraordinarily, tedious. I wouldn’t argue with this fool. He’s not listening to a single word you’re saying. He’s simply waiting for you to draw breath so that he might pontificate anew.
Klaus: I believe you’re thinking of my brother . . . Elijah, he’s the pompous, controlling one.
Elijah: Interesting. I had always heard Elijah was the enigmatic and charming one. The truly distinguished element of the family. Thirteen years and you don’t look over 1,000, how do you do it, Niklaus?
Klaus: Sit tight, August, I’ll get back to your hackery momentarily.
Elijah: Little friend of yours?
Greta: Do you remember him now?
Klaus: As an elephant considers a gnat, merely a trifle.
Antoinette: We have a room, you know. Maybe we should go there.
Elijah: Yeah, but then we couldn’t make out in this filthy alley.
Hope: Pretty cool, huh? Whatdaya think?
Freya: I think I wish I had core muscles like yours.
Greta: Her defect must be corrected.
Klaus: Her defect is my defect! Say that again, and I’ll pluck out your eyeballs and eat them like olives off my fingertips.
Klaus: This is too systematic for Mikael. Besides, I’ve been keeping a low profile.
Elijah: Oh, is that what you call this?
Klaus: Yes, Elijah. Besotted fornication is the norm here, the only one that stands out is . . . you.
Hope: How about this, you tell me something about you, and I won’t go to Alaric with “breaking and entering.”
Hope: An ancient bad-boy vampire, with a damaged soul. How positively –
Greta: Klaus told you to show me pity.
Josh: No, my choice.
Marcel: Question. How do you feel about your skull, Josh.
Josh: I’m pretty attached to it.
Antoinette: Someone once told me Shanghi is a safe place to hide out.
Elijah: Feel free to send me a post card.
Antoinette: You gave me a ring, Elijah. You asked me to marry me.
Elijah: You spent the last 7 years lying to me.
Klaus: Marcel, I have a question. Would it be wrong to assume that I have traitors in my midst?
Marcel: So. What? Now we’ve moved from Blameless Klaus to Paranoid Klaus?
Elijah: Did you eviscerate this Stefan fellow like you did Alexander, or did you simply toss him off a balcony like you did the unfortunate Emil?
Klaus: I didn’t have the chance. But eternity is long, and I have an excellent memory.
Elijah: Why do any of us bother?
Klaus: Well, from here on out. Don’t.
Marcel: Klaus Mikaelson has been quite the busy boy today. First, you’re up and back to Mystic Falls, now you’re abducting werewolves from the Bayou.
Klaus: If Greta’s greatest fear is abominations, then I intend to give her that horror an a never-ending nightmare and I have a quart of Hope’s blood and I will use every last drop of it to create more hybrids.
Klaus: There you see, I was the match that lit the fuse. My mistake was that I humiliated them, and in doing so I empowered them with the most potent form of hate. That which is fueled by rage for millennia. Shame. I gifted them shame.
Join us next Wednesday for more snark!