#TheOriginals Snark: The Final Season Part 4 – Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

There were quite a few snarky comments this week, and I LOVED it.

Vincent:  You looking for love? Hungry for a good time? There’s no better mistress than New Orleans during Mardi Gras. As long as you can stand the heat.


Klaus: You witches, always plead virtue, but if history’s to be prologue, you’re the most rotten of the bunch.

Klaus: A witch’s promise is as slippery as snake oil, and as effective.

Klaus: A guilty wolf could just point fingers at vampires to cover their tracks.

Marcel: They know that if they even laid a finger on Hayley, they’d be answering to me.

Klaus: Was it you who ordered the vampires to antagonize the wolves and string up that hybrid boy? No, I didn’t think so. Perhaps your royal status has wilted along with your marital prospects.

Josh: Alright, easy. Vampires like Hayley. Everyone does.

Klaus: Close proximity of just two Mikaelsons turned rain to blood, imagine what would happen if I were to turn to my siblings for help. Our little family reunion would cause Hellfire to devour us all.

Marcel: Compelling NOLA’s finest, I see.

Klaus: If that’s the city’s finest, then it will wither from its own mediocrity.

Vincent: Your brother has a very interesting approach to motivational speaking.

Freya: Look, I know there’s no love between you two, but as insane as he seems, Klaus’s tactics always work. Just ride out his bad mood as best you can.

Vincent: Yeah, if he keeps messin’ with me, I’m gonna show him a bad mood.

Hope: You drove all this way to bring me beignets.

Freya: I could be wrong, but I think this is the part where you invite me in.

Freya: Sure, I mean, I could just leave after an excruciating 11 hour drive to see my only niece, or we get comfy, stuff our faces with deep-fried glory, and you could tell me about that cute boy you had hidden in your room last week.

Marcel: I could have 30 vampires here in 5 minutes. Can’t help you if you won’t let me.

Klaus: If your assistance requires psychological evaluation then allow me to make this easy for you: psychopath on a mission, no time for chit chat.

Greta: Why does Marcel have us wasting time, trudging around the Bayou?

Josh: Well, you know, technically, you can’t waste time if you’re immortal.

Klaus: And here I thought we were friends.

Josh: Ok, ok. Fine. You caught me bad-mouthing you. But, I was bad-mouthing you, while also doing what you asked, so I’m thinking they kinda cancel each other out. No?

Josh: Oh, wow, a hostage situation. How creative.

Klaus: You might call it that, I call it gentle encouragement.

Colette: I won’t do magic for you.

Klaus: Josh, tell her how this goes . . . Actually, allow me to speak for you. If you don’t do as I say, I will hunt down anyone you love, and then: blood, gore, screaming, death . . . I win. Did I do it justice?

Freya: Pretty. In a don’t get caught alone here at night kinda way.

Hope: The Saltzman twins found it, two years ago. Pretty sure its their evil mean girl lair.

Freya: And they share their father’s love for the bottle.

Greta: Why do we care about Hayley? She’s not one of us.

Marcel: Us? Look, I’ve only seen your face three times in my entire life, so let’s not start throwing stones about who’s who.

Greta: Marcel Gerard, the vampire with werewolf toxin in his fangs. Perhaps your loyalties aren’t what they used to be.

Marcel: Fangs that will shut you up permanently in less than 6 seconds if you don’t fall in line.

Colette: If I break the barrier spell, we can get out of here and –

Josh: – and then he can make a game of hunting his prey. Not interested.

David: I bet the three of us could get the jump on him.

Josh: Said the guy who’s last words will be “oops.”

Marcel: Are you ok?

Josh: Where the Hell were you? You said you’d stop him.

Marcel: Look, I didn’t want any of this.

Josh: What you wanted was to slide back into town, and-and run things like you used to. And while you were out there, stomping around alienating everyone, I had your back. And now look.

Marcel: Josh.

Vincent: Well, I have a witch to bury. You can take care of that mess.

Klaus: You’re a fool.

Marcel: Why, because I fell for your sob story about Elijah? That even true?

Klaus: Every word of it. Even at our most estranged there was always a trace of the brother I loved. But not anymore. Every part of him was unfamiliar. I promised Hope I’d bring her mother home safely.

Marcel: And instead, you turned the city up-side-down.

Klaus: That was always the plan. Put the pressure on, see how the factions react. Vincent and the witches worked with us. The wolves were prepared to die for their alpha. But the vampires . . .

Marcel: They did nothing but resist.

Klaus: They were always threatened by the freaks and the crossbreeds, like us. A vampire took Hayley, so that those who care for her would suffer. They’re keeping her alive, for now. This is a game, and they’re enjoying it.

Marcel: And you’re playing right into that game.

Marcel: Break the rules, defy our orders, no more head garden. Just your head.

Roman: Your mom?

Hope: No sign of her. And, according to my aunt, all the witches in

New Orleans think I’m that gonna melt the city if she doesn’t come home.

Roman: You can do that?

Hope: Probably. I don’t know. I think I’m just tired of everyone being so scared of me.

Roman: That’s understandable.

Hope: Now’s the part where you’re supposed to say that you’re not.

Roman: Well, I’m terrified. But I’m kind of a risk taker.

Freya: Private audience with the boy who sweats diamonds? Nice.

What was your favorite line?

Mine was definitely Klaus saying “psychopath on a mission, no time for chit chat.”

Tune in Wednesday for 5.05 “Don’t it Just Break Your Heart” for more of the snark!


Allison Smith

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