Mystic Falls Messenger
Carnage! Overkill! The Gilbert Kitchen no longer the eternal crime scene! Are we out in a blaze of glory or just up in smoke? Come read Les Misérables, the Sequel!
Editor’s note: We can’t EVEN with this week’s screencaps. We sincerely apologize to Ruthie for having to live through that anguish frame-by-frame! Gratitude, and have a tissue (or a box)!
NOT AN OPTION
‘I’m a vampire, in search of a cure. It’s a cure for immortality. You dig up Silas and you’ve got your cure. There is only one dose. I really wanna get that cure for you. If I gave you the cure to save yourself, you’d give it to Elena, wouldn’t you? We all want it. Help Elena get the damn thing. We risked everything to get it. She’s here. Katherine. It’s been too long, Little Gilbert. And we failed.’
Our edition opened with the curious case of emotionless Elena at home, fondling at broken picture of herself and little brother Jeremy taken in happier times. A single shard of glass hit the floor and shattered into a million pieces, much like her life.
We took a trip in Elena’s mind through the events of the past day, finding her beloved baby bro on the crypt floor, cradling his lifeless body, checking for the GetOutOfDeathFreeRing, wailing it would bring him back.
Stefan observed the tragedy, explaining to late-to-the-party Damon. Katherine must have been following them the whole time, now One Dose, Silas, Bonnie–everything was gone. Elena was waiting for The Ring to work. BUT! Jeremy was *ominous tone* one of The Five. A Hunter. Damon’s head, meet rock wall. He was supernatural. The Ring won’t work anymore. (Editor’s note: We were not satisfied with this flimsy explanation, but accepted it under duress in hopes of future on-screen information!) Damon feared Elena wouldn’t survive. He would look for Bonnie, Stef was to get Elena off Fangtasy Island. We delved deeper to see what had caused Elena’s emotionless flashback condition…
SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER
OUT DAMNED SPOT! KOL LEFT HIS MARK. Caroline used to complain about pulling vampire disposal duty back in the Sage day, but there she was, on her manicured hands and exfoliated knees, attempting to scrub the CharKol mark off the Gilbert floor. Apparently the Mystic Falls water supply is vervain-free again!
She was overjoyed for about half a second when Elena and Stefan came in the front door, until she realized the bundle Stef was carrying was none other than lifeless Fig(ure)-in-a-blanket Jeremy. Stefan took him upstairs, gently laying Jeremy in repose as Elena clasped his hands, covered him with a blankie, caressed his cold, dead face, and waited for the wake-up call. Still giving Elena her way, Stefan left them without contradicting her erred thought processes.
REARRANGING THE DECK CHAIRS ON THE TITANIC
Stefan joined Caroline in the Gilbert kitchen to confer behind Elena‘s back. The only thing Elena had said since the corpse was discovered was she was waiting for Jer to wake up. Once Caroline asked if E realized he wasn’t gonna, Stefan full blasted the kitchen faucet to guard against Elena’s selective super vamp-hearing. Deep-down she must know, but with her super-grief Elena feels, a cruise ship down DeNile is her only protection. (Editor’s note: Thanks @AbbyGraham for the Twitter setup.) Stef didn’t want to be the one to break her–let’s get Damon to do it! He’ll do anything! Especially if he used the sire bond.
So much for the sound of running water–Elena overheard everything. She was NOT in denial. She’d drank the watered down ‘he was supernatural’ Kool-Aid, too, but had eavesdropped on one of our MFM brainstorming sessions! Since the spell-tattoo disappeared, maybe there was a slim-to-none chance Jer had fulfilled his supe destiny and become ‘normal‘ again. So The Ring might work. *head shaking and sympathetic looks from the Steroline peanut gallery* IT‘S FREAKIN HOPE, ALL RIGHT? She was holdin on to that for dear life, because there was no way that…she could barely SAY that her baby brother was dead. She was NOT in denial. Huff!
SOCIETY MAVEN KICKS INTO HIGH GEAR
Caroline snuck out to The Porch of Truth for an illicit call to runaway Tyler’s voicemail. Not giving him any details about what ‘something’s happened’ was sure to force a call back, right? Female tactics. Stefan joined her, attempting to ease her mind about Klaus and the endless, ruthless pursuit since Katherine had successfully evaded Klaus for 500 years. Probably explaining why Ms. Pierce stole One Dose as a bargaining chip for her freedom *cough LEVERAGE cough*. Yes, it appeared One Dose was gone, and Stefan’s head-cinema had put him in denial over Elena not staying a vamp forever, and now she had no family, either. Kick in the organizational skills! Car was anxious to make lists, a casserole, plan a funeral, come up with a cover story–oh, wait. She should tell Sheriff Mom (always wise for the cops to be included when there’s a death cover-up involved).
Stef jumped right onto the runaway planning train, insisting Car get Matt. Misery loves company, and they needed more broad shoulders to cry on in the Mystic Falls remake of Les Misérables–all the current shirts were soaked through! Car would call Matt, tell her Mom, and go into hyper drive WAIT!!! What was that smell? Caroline’s advanced super vamp smeller detected something we REALLY would rather not have known about. Decomp. Liz needed to get Dr. Meredith over to Gilbert House, STAT.
SEARCH PARTY SCOURS FOR MISSING TEEN
When Our Gang last saw Bonnie, she had gone in search of an abducted Jeremy–unbeknownst to them that she’d found him and was present in The Crypt when the fustercluck went down. As a matter of fact, where WAS Bonnie with her Vaughn-induced backstabbing? So, Damon (and his cute butt) returned to the Love Shack camp, retracing their steps for clues to her whereabouts. Small noises created veiny eyes, accompanied by threats if the noise wasn’t a blond, a Bennett witch, or a doppelganger. Ding, ding, ding–blond.
Bex demanded One Dose, stupefied that Katherine had it–who let that sneaky little biotch back in Bex’ storyline? She (or SOMEbody killed Jeremy)–Bex was way behind the power curve! Man on a mission was NOT impressed by Bex’ seemingly heartfelt sad-face at Elena’s family loss, directing she help find Bonnie before sending flowers. Bonnie!?!?! Bex wanted Katherine! Long gone, sister. Get it in gear and watch out–sleeping dog Silas was on the loose!
NO ‘T’, NO SHADY
MFM Woodsy Owl in the field discovered Bonnie sleeping on a grassy bed in the woods next to a cozy fire. Healing from her knife in the back puncture courtesy of a Shane island herb-and-berry non-witch potion. Results may vary. What was under Shane’s bloody pants leg and how was he healed? Unexplained tricksy: It was Silas.
It was Break and Fake, and he helped. *ahem* Subject change! Bonnie did it! Silas had risen! She shouldn‘t be ‘angry‘ (understatement)–Silas was gonna bring back all the lost lives. Master manipulator thought he’d change Bonnie’s mind about the unnaturality of bringing back the dead once he dropped anchor on her heart. When Silas woke up, he had to feed after desiccating for almost 2000 years. Jer was the convenient happy meal. DRANO!
Scaredycat Bex did NOT like tramping about with Big Bad Silas on the loose, as Kol had driven himself to distraction over the now fulfilled resurrectee. She and Damon snarked at each other about Bon‘s possible demise, Damon’s pointed absence from Elena‘s side, and if he was scaredycat hiding 1200 miles away when his Elena-love realized her brother was dead. ALWAYS WEAR AN ORANGE HUNTING VEST WHILST TRAMPING THROUGH THE WOODS!
Rebekah stopped talking long enough to take an arrow in the back (whoopsie–Damon used her as a human shield–better her than him!) Second shot caught–can we say PISSED OFF LOOK when Damon spied it was Vaughn taking aim at them?! Hunters may be fast, but they ain’t got vampspeed, as Damon got the jump on him. Just the guy he wanted to see! Not really! Back of Vaughn’s noggin, meet tree!
TEA AND SYMPATHY
There were no s’mores at Shane’s campfire, just piss-colored, ugly ass calming witch tea. Nope, the Bonster wasn’t havin it, she FREAKIN DESERVED a full-fledged, out-of-control, firestarter witchy implosion upon learning of Jeremy’s death. *ANOTHER once-and-again love interest gone for good?! Is she gonna have to resort to e-Harmony?* Shut up, shut up, shut up, Shane! He brought her back from the edge, telling her Silas needed her. He could bring Jeremy and everyone (?) else back like recycled waste. She was gonna help–she’d see Jeremy again (define ‘see’. Yeah, Shane would arrange THAT soon enough!).
MEDICAL EXAMINER’S FINDINGS CALLED INTO QUESTION
The Gilbert Alert Phone Tree activation system worked, proven by Meredith’s sudden appearance in Jeremy’s bed
dead room. Elena wandered in from her own room, sentimental diary in hand, through the Jack-n-Jill bathroom to discover Meredith there to check on Jeremy. Very professionally, Mer asked permission to examine him (hey, she’s the Coroner, besides being a doc). Elena blew her off, comparing Jeremy’s lack of vitals to Ric’s multiple deaths and rebirths, sometimes taking an entire day. They’d have to keep an eye out for crazy signs when he woke up *knowing looks were exchanged between Meredith and now present Stefan*. On superficial examination, it looked like Jeremy died of extreme blood loss (while you‘re getting clinical, missy, that’s ‘exsanguination’), explaining the lack of lividity. His neck also appeared to be broken, and his muscles had tightened past the point of rigor mortis (for you geeks out there, rigor generally dissipates 48-60 hours post mortem). (Editor’s note: We call OVERKILL! There was no need to kill him six ways to Sunday or two ways to Thursday, one was quite enough!) Left unattended, he’d soon start to bloat, his skin would discolor–WAS THIS SHOCK THERAPY IN IT’S RUDEST FORM OR WHAT?!
Elena wasn’t hearin it, he was NOT DEAD! No funeral home, no viewing, no saying goodbye–IT’S NOT NICE TO FOOL WITH A GRIEF STRICKEN VAMPIRE! NOT DEAD, NOT DEAD, NOT DEAD! Stefan held Elena back once she vamp slammed Meredith against the wall. Meredith of all people should know magic trumps science–that’s how Elena got brought back with vampire blood by the doc’s own hand. They need magic, they need Bonnie, GET HER BONNIE!
It wasn’t until Matt came in the bedroom door that our reporter on the scene finally teared up. There’s nothing like a quarterback crier, interrupting Elena’s tirade, glancing over the corpse almost holding the Book of the Dead (i.e. Elena’s diary of their lives) to start up the waterworks! Elena was the one who then consoled Matt with a tearful hug, Bonnie would be there soon and fix everything (if she said it enough times maybe it‘d be true?). Who’s gonna hug US, huh? (Nasty network, running that BD2 ad playing “I could die every day waiting for you” ad right after!)
UNSPIKED TEA AND SYMPATHY
A short time later, we found Matty bringing Elena NOT over-honeyed tea in the Gilbert crime scene Kitchen. The feeble joke about one-time poisoning your best friend reminded us, um, that was the night Elena lost her human life. Matt was WAY behind. They’d lost Bonnie on Fangtasy Island and Damon stayed to locate her. Didn‘t Damon hate Bonnie? Hey, he kinda loved her, you‘re only mean to the people you care about. Messed up Damonlogic. Everybody drink! Matt had an idea, Elena should go with him, nothing she could do there anyway, and leave Stef with Jer. Please? He knew she needed to get away.
NOT SO SURPRISING CONNECTIONS
Back on the Island, Damon had trussed up Vaughn after providing Excedrin headache #86. The Hogtied Hunter was questioned pointedly (with a knife in his throat) as Damon had connected the dots when Katherine showed up. Damon was almost willing to suffer The Hunter’s Curse to discover what (and who) Vaughn had been up to. Oh, it’s not nice to plant a backscratcher in a closet dominatrix’ back, Bex had better ideas! They didn’t have to ‘kill’ him, they could just torture him to the brink of sanity, heal him, and start all over again, and again, and again, ad infinitum. Threat registered! Vaughn was tracking vampires across Colorado, Katherine found him and said she could help find Silas. She already knew about The Hunter’s Mark and The Cure from someone on the ‘inside’. Werewolf chick that was friends with The Nutty Professor (Disgusted Damon just KNEW Hayley was shady!). Katherine found Hayley in *cough setup cough* New Orleans.
Well now! That was the end of Vaughn’s current useful knowledge, throw him in The Wishing Well–if he starved, not their prob! Let’s find Bonnie! Tunnel-vision Rebekah had a lead on One Dose, and she would follow up, especially since Damon never really wanted Elena to be human anyway! He’d wanted One Dose for Elena because it was what SHE wanted. He wasn’t scaredycat to go back because what Elena needed was for him to bring her best friend home. And so our unlikely search party of two split up.
VISIONS OF SUGARLIPS
Shane had to get the now calm but skeptical Bonnie home if she was gonna help Silas Raise the Dead. She didn’t understand what SHE could do. More vague tricksies: Silas can’t do magic–he was a witch, but after he became immortal that ended–you can be witch or vampire but never both. (Editor’s note: We resistantly succumb to the fact that, even though Shane has gone out of his way to seemingly separate ‘immortal’ from ‘vampire’ and some of our characters have referred to Silas as ‘immortal witch‘, there it was on-air. Oh, and if Silas ain‘t a witch right now, how‘d he ‘help‘ Shane heal his leg?) This is why Shane taught Bonnie Expression so she could be the grunt. How was she supposed to do Silas’ work for him? Using the Power of three massacres. Massacre of twelve marks the Earth with Power. Bonnie can use Expression to tap into that Power. Shane got 36 people KILLED?! Oh, not that bad, only 24–massacre is cheaper by the dozens. Twelve peeps at the Young Farm, 12 hybrids. Shane and Bonnie were gonna complete The Bermuda Triangle of Death. There needs to be another massacre, but it was okies! They’re gonna come back! She was NOT helping cra-cra serial killer do 12 people! Wouldn’t she help if it meant she could see Jer, Grams, and everybody she and her friends lost again? Brillohead insisted she would help. Bonnie tried to run away from the inevitable, tripping right over WHAT?!?!
With a devious look in Shane’s eye, Bonnie literally fell over hemorrhaging Jeremy’s body, “Bonnie? It hurts! Help me!“ SPELLGASM took over as she attempted witch CPR, hair and leaves blowing while she desperately pumped his sternum and closed her eyes to concentrate. As she reopened her peepers, she was dry-pumping empty dead ground. (Shane SAID she’d ‘see’ Jeremy again.) There was Brillohead standing over her, inquiring if Jer had asked for her help. Jer needed her help. You can DO this, Bonnie, you know you can. Talk about switch-flippin! That was E-nough. She’d do whatever it takes.
WHAT’S A COLLISION IF YOU CAN’T SHARE IT
Don’t pull that sheet over Jer’s head, he CAN’T be dead! Left with the corpse at Gilbert House, Meredith did just that, bumping the a/c to help slow down the decomp while Stefan cleaned up what was apparently the Kol-day aftermath in the hall. What Mystic Falls needs is a good, discreet, dead-maid service for frequent pesky brouhahas. This pair felt the need to share common after-death experiences. He’d been alive for nigh-on two centuries, you’d think with the amount of people he’d seen die it would hurt less each time. Death never hurts less.
Though living, Doc Mer saw it every day, and thought they could only brace for the impact of knowing peeps were on a collision course with death. Saved from the maudlin by a cell call from Damon, who still hadn’t found Bonnie but wanted to know how Elena was. Stefan filled him in it would get ugly soon if they didn’t get Jer to the morgue and Elena was losin it. Desperate Damon couldn’t show up without Bonnie. If the sire bond was the only thing that would keep Elena together, Stefan could go back to find Bonnie. (How they doin this, floo powder? Portkey? Mystic Falls is just an Old Boot away from Nova Scotia!) Reluctantly, Damon was on his way.
When what to Damon’s wondering eyes should appear, but Miss Bonnie herself with a hug and near-tears! (Apologies.) Shane had led her there, and told her what to do. She knew how to bring Jeremy back!
SCHOOL GRAFFITI PROVIDES HOPE TO THE HOPELESS
Two truant seniors were reported behind MFHS, perusing wall art in the area affectionately referred to as The Stoner Pit. What were a quarterback and former cheerleader ex GF doing in that shiny stolen late-model pickup? Oh, wait. Gift from Rebekah many moons ago. This was Matt’s attempt to share with Elena that it was okay to have hope when all seemed lost. He uncovered Jeremy’s scrawling of Vicki’s name, painted during The Rebel Phase after the ‘rents‘ death. Matty had discovered it after Vicki died; it made him smile.
There was also a “J+V” nearby. After Vicki’s body was discovered, Matt struggled with her being gone forever. And then she wasn’t. Crazy-ass Mystic Falls was enough reason NOT to believe somebody’s gone for good. At least not completely. If Elena compelled him to tell the truth, would he say the same thing? Matt believed it was okay to have hope–sometimes that was all that kept him going. Just when you thought it was safe to let go a little, RING! RING! Stefan calling! Damon found Bonnie and they‘d be home in a few hours. A plane was waiting for them when they got off the island (thank you for the portkey explanation!). Stef cautiously mentioned Elena might have been right, there may BE something. HOPE springs eternal!
ANCIENT ARTIFACT STIRS QUESTIONS
Sources tailing Rebekah found her carrying out Damon’s wishes by dumping the Hogtied Hunter back down in The Wishing Well. Vaughn wasn’t givin up so easily–if Rebekah was smart, she’d use The Cure to kill Silas. That was HIS supernatural destiny, not hers. Vaughn advised she take care when she left, Silas was up topside running about. Vaughn had proof in his backpack. He’d found the mouth breather’s death mask in the chamber. Empty. Nobody had ever seen Silas.
How do you hide from The Devil when you don’t know what he looks like? Vaughn was quoted in the ominous statement of the week: “Mark my words. If you don’t use The Cure to kill him, it doesn’t matter if you’re human or vampire, you’re doomed. We all are.” Scaredycat exit! Good luck to her, they’d all brought this on themselves!
STOP TALKING AND LISTEN!
Arriving back curbside at The Gilbert House and fresh off her organizational whatever, Caroline left Tyler yet another voicemail. She figured he’d wisely ditched his cellphone, but she was dying to tell him about the bleak turned around day–Call me Maybe! She was overjoyed as Damon and Bonnie pulled up, greeting her gurlfriend with a huge worried hug. Break it up, Damon needed Stefan outside. Caroline had heard Bonnie knew what to do! Wasn’t that fanTAStic? Caroline. Get his brother NOW, before Damon glared a hole through your face and broke his jaw from teeth clenching!
UNVEILING OF THE HOTSPOTS OF THE CENTURY
In a multiple source semi-blur of events, simultaneous reports came in from around the globe. Shane and Bonnie flashback from Fangtasy Island. Bonnie, Matt, Caroline, and Elena at the Gilbert dining table. The Salvabros in the front yard. We’ll do our best to piece it all together for ya.
Bonnie surrendered to Shane’s will and professed to do whatever it would take. She would see Jeremy again, after just a *cough* few things that had to be done first.
At the table, Bonnie explained The Expression Bermuda Triangle she needed to complete for Silas. What?! Matt indignantly denied she could kill 12 people. Caroline chimed in it was the only way to get enough Power to do what?!
Damon told Stefan that Bonster was off her rocker, and the Nutty Professor had totally brainwashed her.
Fractured Fairy Tale History: When Silas was buried by Qetsiyah with The Cure, she left him two choices. Stay immortal and rot or take The Cure and eventually die in there of old age. Bonnie wanted to know if, after 2000 years, wouldn’t death by old age be better? Qetsiyah knew Silas wanted to die so that he’d find peace and be reunited with his one (unnamed) true lady-love (that Qetsiyah killed). So Qetsiyah created The Other Side, purgatory for all supernatural beings, so if Silas as immortal died he‘d end up there forever (and not in the afterlife with NoName). That’s where Bonnie, Qetsiyah’s descendant comes in.. Bonnie can make The Other Side go away.
All Rockerless Bonnie had talked about on her and Damon’s flight home was how she can drop The Veil between this side and The Other Side. That thing about Silas being able to raise the dead? It’s not just ‘one’ or ‘some’ it’s every freakin supernatural being over there.
Super-confident (but crazy) Bonnie told the table group that once The Veil drops The Other Side would cease to exist–no separation, they‘d all be just one. No, that doesn‘t sound insane, not at all!
Damon recounted the witch spell of the century: 3 massacres. 3 hot spots. Every supernatural being on The Other Side back with a vengeance. Yippee-ki-yay fothermuckers!
When she still had part of her mind left, Bonnie had told Shane she couldn’t do that. Shane convinced her. All her persecuted witch ancestors, Grams, Jeremy, they’ll all be back. You can do this (confidence builder). You will do this (veiled *ahem* threat).
WHEN THE DOO-DOO GETS DEEP, PULL UP YOUR PANTS
TRANCE AND WADE
Caroline called BS on Bonnie’s mass-murder plan to call up all the monsters from the Black Lagoon. Matt jumped in, and as the three of them ranted about Bonnie’s Power, bringing back Jer, Ric, and Vicki, Elena sat there with her eyes glassing over, receding farther and farther away from the sound of their voices and reality. At the crucial moment, the phone rang and Elena snapped. Stefan and Damon joined the group inside just in time to find out April Young’s airhead alert had sounded, inopportunely calling to find out why Jeremy’s cell kept going to voicemail–Jer can’t come to the phone right now, he’s dead.
IS THERE AN ELECTRICIAN IN THE HOUSE?
Whodathunk that would be the straw that broke Elena’s reserve? She marched up to Jer’s death room and apprehensively uncovered his corpse. Seeing the truth for the first time, the waterworks began. Damon had followed her, witnessing her revelation that Jeremy was really dead and had been the entire time. Grief had apparently muted her selectively vampire sensitive nose, but no more! How long had he smelled like that? Elena went off on a tangent. Wanted Damon to carry him downstairs, where Elena looked for Bonnie, only to find Matt took her home. Well, it’s the old-fashioned way, then–put Jeremy on the couch! Elena then proceeded to rifle through kitchen cabinets like Ric on a bender, searching for something while Stefan and Bonnie warily watched. Got it! Lighter fluid!
Squirt it all! She carried on and on about cover stories, not being in denial, not wanting to live there anymore, no sketchy reminders, no used X-Box–burning down the house with Jeremy in it was the best cover. Stef tried to stop her, but when she ran out of lighter fluid she proceeded sprinkling around Ric’s undrunk bourbon. Unless they were willing to bring back every supe on The Other Side to get him back. She launched into Damon, asking if he’d do that to get his drinking bud back. She would NOT. Did that make her a bad person? Stefan, Caroline, and Damon stood there like a mute Three Stooges as Elena raged, doused Jeremy’s body in bourbon, yanked off Jeremy’s Don’tGetOutOfDeathFreeRing and tossed it to Damon since Jer wouldn‘t need it anymore. (Just a suggestion. Give it to Matty!) She was scaring Caroline, but Elena didn’t know what else to do with his body, what with no more room in the Gilbert Family Plot–dash it all and their sibling family picture, too! (Aha! Remember the beginning of our edition? We’re almost caught up!) Every inch of that house was filled with painful memories of the people she loved that were dead.
Matchstrike! Mom, Dad, Jeremy, Jenna, Alaric, even John, dead, dead, dead incoherent babbling. As the match burned down in her fingers (and we hyperventilated from blowing at the screen), it burned her, so she DROPPED IT! Thank God for vampspeed, Damon caught it before it hit the fuel. She can’t calm down, knee-dropping in a hysterical mess, she can’t, she can’t, she can’t, it hurts, it hurts, make it stop, it hurts, make it stop! Now was the time.
Stefan implored Damon to help her. Damon sank to her side and cradled her in his arms. Let him help her. He brushed hair from her tear-streaked face, asking her to let him help her. Turn it off. (Stefan’s near-intervention got him a look at the back of Damon’s hand.) Damon never broke eye contact with Elena. Just turn it off and everything will go away. “It’s what I want you to do.”
Uh-oh. Shades of sire bond still in full effect, regardless of what Elena had thought. “Turn it off.“ Was Elena’s empty stare the birth of Mystic Falls’ first Zombievampire?
THIS VOICE MAILBOX IS FULL
In the aftermath, Caroline went home and called Tyler’s voicemail yet again. She hated to leave it as a message, but she thought he should know Jeremy was dead. She was sorry, she thought Tyler would have returned her call by now, but PLEASE call back. She needs him. The day before could not be the last time she’d ever see or talk to him again. Please?
Matty had finally gotten Bon to her house, still insisting she‘d bring Jeremy back. She got out, heading towards the house as Matty pulled away. Hiding in the bushes was Peeping Shane Brillohead (stalker–how‘d HE get home?). He wanted to know if she’d told. Of course, but her friends didn’t think she could do it. Shane brushed that off as their fear of believing. Bon had been thinking about things, too–so the dead supernatural rise. What about the twelve humans that died on the Young Farm? (Here it comes again–Star Trek reference!) The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. They were a necessary sacrifice for the Greater Good. They got to ’pass on’ and find peace. Didn’t that Hallmark smile make Bonnie feel better? They’ll do this together. They ARE the beginning. Um, Adam and Evil?
WHO’S STILL WANDERING AROUND BEHIND THE LITTLE ANIMALS?
In the cold and dark of Fangtasy Island, a lone figure with a flashlight picked their way through the forest. Bex was still out there, coming at last upon a beached motorboat near the shoreline. BLAST IT! What was that she stumbled across in the dark, a body? With a deep breath and a timid rollover, it was Shattered-leg Shane! Rebekah hasn’t yet watched nearly enough late-night cable B-horror movies, or she would have known NEVER walk past what you think is a dead body. YOUR ANKLE WILL SURELY GET GRABBED! With open eyes and a single name on his lips,
SHILAS SILAS! (We’ve been dying to use that new name for pages now! Shane wasn’t a meatsuit, but is Shilas a possible shapeshifter?!)
IS MYSTIC FALLS’ CURFEW STILL IN EFFECT?
Matty didn’t make it far away from Bonnie’s house when he had to pull over. Our all-American human had held it together most of the day among his supernatural and magical friends, providing moral support, hope, reason, snacks, and transportation, but now that he was truly alone? All the gut wrenching, agonizing, heartfelt sadness came pouring out of him in a torrent. We bawled right along with him, as his head sunk to his steering wheel. Waaaa!
WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO…
THE PRESENT, with Elena fondling the broken happy times picture.
ONE LAST EPITAPH FOR THE PORCH OF TRUTH: Stefan and Damon wrung the last shred of truth out of our dear friend. It wasn’t a mistake for Damon to shut off Elena’s humanity. It was the only way she’d survive, and together they’d help her. When she was ready he’d use the sire bond to bring it back. Stefan argued her humanity was all she had left. Which meant nothing as far as Damon was concerned, when she didn’t have anyone to care about.
Stefan soulfully admitted, she had Damon. “She lost her brother. And I’m not enough. Not this time.” You could cut the bro-bonding with a knife as they exchanged looks. The Porch had one more gasp. Stefan awkwardly stuttered through their recent ‘bad spots’, especially concerning Elena. Guess none of that mattered anymore. Stefan just wanted Damon to know that, um……yeah, Damon knew. Meaningful hand-clamp on the shoulder. Fess up, who yelled out, “I love you, man!”
As Elena dejectedly but calmly set down the happy times and struck another fireplace match, The Brothers Salvatore entered the house, completing our obtuse triangle. Was she sure? They could find another cover story. It was the best solution–no one would ask questions (except maybe the arson squad–accelerant, anyone? Matches? Leaving the scene of a crime?).
Stefan reminded her if she burned down the house, it would be gone. One day when everything was all over, what if she wanted to come home again? She won’t–and let the lighted match fall from her fingers. As the music played, three walked away, only Stefan pausing for a glance back at what had been.
Jeremy. The couch. Jeremy’s sketches. A high-top sneaker. The staircase. THE VAMPIRE’S DIARY! (Okay, we just made ourselves cry again writing that.) OH, NO! The Porch of Truth was bad enough, but ELENA’S MINI-WOOBIE!
I won’t cry, I won’t cry, no, I won’t shed a tear, Just as long as you stand, stand by me.
Calm down. There are some good things about this. No more ugly horse picture over the bed. Gone are the gray-green stripey sheets. No more enforced coed sharing of a joined bathroom. There’s not a need for crime scene tape in the Gilbert Kitchen. No one will ever get stabbed with a Gilbert WMD again. Up in smoke are all those leftover bloodstains. Keep ‘em coming! Sooner or later we’ll cheer ourselves up!
WOOBIE WORD OF THE WEEK
We are keeping the mini-Woobie as the icon for this section IN MEMORIAM! *sobbing in hopes that Damon’s sentimental side had woobienapped him and he’s in Damon’s bed even as we write.* BREATHE! Down to business. We had a hands-down winner for this week’s Woobie Word of the Week………BONED!
Who closed Jeremy’s dead eyes before Elena found him on the crypt floor? They were open when we last saw him!
Not that it will, but The Witch-Spell of the Century still leaves a sliver of hope. Since Jeremy was pronounced supernatural, he’s not just a Krispy Kritter charcoal briquette, he went to The Other Side. If Shilas and Bonnie succeed, Jeremy would still be back, by their definition.
If Jeremy was supernatural (not still human) after his first vampire kill, why did Klaus have to have an ‘invite’ into the Gilbert House the night Kol was fried? Or is that because, though ‘supernatural’, technically Jeremy was still ‘living’?
Can April please be one of the 12 in the final massacre of the Bermuda Expression Triangle? (Sorry if that offended any readers!)
Didn’t another ‘potential’ come of age the instant Jeremy died? That’s what happened when Connor died. There are still three (now four) other Hunters out there, unmarked since they no longer need the map and Shilas is walking the Earth. The mission to kill him is still very much their cause.
What’s happened to the real Brillohead? Seems he’s still alive, or was at least long enough to grab Rebekah!
And that’s a wrap! We now observe a 21-day mourning period until the next exciting edition of The MFM! Keep subscribing!
MAK turned her obsessive habit of TVD tweeting and commenting on other people’s recaps into The Mystic Falls Messenger. She loves the stuffins out of all things vampire, especially The Vampire Diaries. Follow her shameless tweets @mak75231 so she doesn’t feel ignored!