Welcome back to Mystic Falls everyone! …Sort of. Thanks to the Travelers, supernaturals are still not allowed to enter the town limits but that doesn’t stop certain pesky vamps from lurking around the border to feed on a pair of underage drinkers. Pretty harsh P.S.A huh?
Was it me or did that mystery vamp look an awful lot like Elena? (Spoiler Alert: It totally was)
Don’t look at me all innocent-like missy…
Elena Goes Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs
It’s safe to say that Elena has absolutely lost it. She has guilt tripped Luke into being her witchy drug supplier so that she can hallucinate her lost love. As charming and wonderful as fake drug induced Damon is, he is just a projection of Elena’s own mind. I know that one should always strive to love thy self but this is a little ridiculous.
It isn’t until she almost kills someone in front of Caroline does she realize how far gone she really is. Elena needs help and this being Elena, she picks the most drastic option: SHE ASKS ALARIC TO ERASE ALL HER MEMORIES OF DAMON.
Can someone please hack into Elena’s Netflix and queue up some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? Homegirl needs some serious reminders.
College Students are Blood Sausages
Understandably, Alaric is not adjusting to being a vampire very well. This is not something he would have ever chosen for himself but he was given a second chance at life so he’d better give it his very best.
Personally, I am thrilled to see Professor Saltzman back on the ol’ chalkboard. Did anyone else notice that he brought up resurrection five seconds into teaching? I’m sure that won’t be at all relevant ever.
Now if only he would stop seeing all his students like this:
Stefan Models Skinny Jeans
Okay, fine he’s a mechanic now but he might as well be modeling those jeans because my stars is he rocking the greaser look. (Excuse me while I fan myself for a minute). Stefan has done what he does best; detached himself from everyone and disappeared. Does anyone on this show learn from their past mistakes? (No, no they do not)
Stefan told a frantic Elena that there is no hope and that she should move on but I can’t shake the feeling that our brooding hero has a trick or two up his sleeve. A trick that involves his new sex buddy Ivy…
Someone Answer Caroline’s Calls!
Remember when Tyler went AWOL and Caroline spent half a season calling his voicemail? It was heartbreaking! Now Stefan is the one not picking up and I want to throw my Lean Cuisine at his beautiful brooding head. I would love to see Caroline and Stefan pan out (hate tweets can find me at @EmilyTalksTV) but something tells me it’s going to be a bit of a slow burn.
How’s the rest of the gang doing? Meh.
Let this GIF be a succinct summary on how our boy Jeremy is doing:
Good thing he has Matty Blue Eyes to keep him in check. Speaking of Pudding Pop Donovan, our favorite human has gone a tiny bit commando (did anyone else make the comparison to Riley Finn) as of late. This could lead to an awkward falling out with his friends later in the season but as long as he continues to wear those workout shorts I will not complain.
The Rise of Lyler/Tiv/Liv Tyler
Holy sexual tension batman! Tyler is newly human with those charming old anger issues and a growing soft spot for witchy Taylor Swift. I’m sure this romance will blossom without any unforeseen complications and heart ache because TVD is the feel good show of the last decade.
Bamon Go to IHOP ( International House of Purgatory)
Apparently the afterlife is full of plaid and cute little vampire pancakes. Has somebody been reading my dream journal!!? Seriously though, do these two even know they’re dead? ARE THEY DEAD? What brand of pancake mix is available in the afterlife?! IS MRS. BUTTERS-WORTH GOD?
So many questions, so much syrup….
I’m sure we’ll find out where our dearly departed Bamon is sooner than later but that ending definitely left me asking more questions than it answered.