Boy, this episode had it all!
Snark, love, tough love, hard truths, rallying speeches, and even a literal poke that Hope did to herself.
I loved it – and especially loved Alaric’s speech at the end. It reminded me so much of the speech just before the Battle of Hogwarts.
Let’s get to it!
Alaric: Gaulish. Why does it always have to be Gaulish?
Dorian: Where’s Penelope Parks?
Lizzie: Um, lady cramps, Mr Williams.
Dorian: Sorry I asked.
Josie: Uh oh, who’s in trouble with the Headmaster?
Hope: Probably the people who started a rumble with the local high school.
Dorian: Josie Saltzman, Lizzie Saltzman, and baby makes three. Off you go.
Alaric: Oh, I was mad last night. My undying love for my daughters just happened to trump my rage.
Lizzie: And, secondly, if anyone should take the blame, its Josie.
Lizzie: I’m sorry, I totally cracked under cross, but if you’d just let Kaleb catch the ball!
Alaric: You’d still be in trouble.
Hope: But, nice job, throwing your sister under the bus.
Josie: Thank you, Hope.
Alaric: Speaking of, the bus arrives leaves in 10 minutes and I expect all three of you to be on it, working together today. Harmoniously, and without drama.
Hope: I love trash, as of this moment.
Lizzie: It suits you.
Rafael: Knives don’t have conscious thoughts, brother.
Landon: I know, but knives don’t usually attract dragons, either.
Rafael: Its just the two of us. Living off the land. Nothing better.
Landon: A burger. A burger would be better.
Rafael: A burger would be better.
Kaleb: We’re faster. We’re stronger. We’re better.
Connor: Hypothetical question.
Connor: How bad would it suck if whoever did this graffiti just came back tonight and put it right back up again?
Lizzie: Well, whoever it is, I hope he improves his spelling.
Alaric: I’m going to have to, um, raincheck therapy.
Emma: Is that the knife the dragon was chasing? Dorian never misses his appointments.
Alaric: Yes, and if my translations are right, whoever wields it has the power to save the world . . . or end all life as we know it, its hard to say. Fourth century Gaulish is tricky.
Emma: Well, in that case, stop cleaning it and destroy the damned thing.
Alaric: Hydrochloric acid. I’ve tried explosives, an acetylene torch, a circular saw . . . I’ve even run over it with my truck.
Emma: So in addition to father, teacher, mentor, you’ve also added linguist, slayer of mythical creatures, and demolitions expert to your resume. That’s a lot to take on. Especially all by yourself.
Alaric: Emma, when I say I’m fine, I’m –
Lizzie: A jerk!
Pedro: Aren’t you supposed to help?
Lizzie: Consider this a life lesson, Pedro.
Pedro: That statue just moved.
Lizzie: We’re being punked, Pedro. The sixth grade witches are learning illusion spells this semester.
Pedro: Its . . .
Lizzie: Let me guess, its right behind me?
Hope: You have a future in waste management.
Josie: Cleaning up messes is kind of my thing.
Hope: Well, your sister is kind of a dumpster fire.
Josie: You poked yourself!
Josie: Lizzie’s . . . sensitive. And Mom is going on these really long recruitment missions lately, that’s why she’s extra testy. She just really misses her.
Hope: I know the feeling.
MG: Tell me the truth: Are you actually feelin’ me?
Dana: You’re a good guy. Pretty cute. Great hair, but I’m secretly in love with my best friend Sasha’s boy friend, Connor.
MG: Why are we doin’ this, then?
Dana: To make Connor jealous which, let’s be honest, is totally what you’re doing with Lizzie Saltzman.
MG: So rather than make out with you – like any other guy would – I had to ask the honorable, yet supremely stupid, question . . . and if I keep going I’m taking advantage of you and my Momma didn’t raise me like that. Forget we made out. But also remember that I’m a really cool dude with super dope football skills and I crush it all day, every day.
Jeremy: I’m not here to hurt you.
Landon: Who are you?
Jeremy: Your new best friend.
MG: Unbelievable. I told you to go, not make out with some other dude.
MG: Kaleb, what are you doing?
Kaleb: What does it look like? I’m eatin’.
Kaleb: Vamps before tramps.
Alaric: Dorian was supposed to keep you away.
Hope: He tried. He lost. But here, Killing Gargoyles 101, he thought you could translate it.
Alaric: Gaulish is . . .
Hope: So, are we on our own, or did the Gaulish provide clear instructions?
Alaric: In a nutshell, it says hit it hard and repeat as needed.
Hope: Is that . . . ?
Hope: And you’re still breathing?
Alaric: I have a theory about that.
Hope: Well, save it, because we had to take the containment spell down to get inside the school, meaning our monster can get out.
Alaric: A containment spell? Lizzie wanted to make sure whatever attacked her didn’t make it into the outside world. That girl. Alright, well, I guess we’d better find it before it makes the evening news. So how did you take the containment spell down?
Josie: She didn’t. I did. And I have questions.
Landon: Who is that?
Jeremy: Werewolf Hunter.
Rafael: Is that really a thing?
Jeremy: You’re new to this. You probably think that being supernatural gives you the upper hand. It doesn’t. This world is a scary place for someone like you, especially when you’re dumb enough to use your powers in public.
Landon: So, you go around saving new werewolves, or what?
Jeremy: Name’s Jeremy. Known Alaric since I was a kid, now I work for him sometimes. He told me to track you and make sure that you stay out of trouble which, apparently, you suck at.
Rafael: I never thanked you for that. After Cassie. You were there. Like all in. It might not’ve seemed like I appreciated it but . . . I did. So let’s do what we gotta do here, and let’s go back to school.
Landon: They don’t want me there.
Rafael: I am not going without you! All in. All in.
Josie: You could’ve died, Dad.
Alaric: I knew it wouldn’t kill me, my research said so.
Hope: Wait. One more thing. You’re always telling us that we need to work together. To put our own feelings aside for the school. For the community. I know I haven’t always listened to you with that kinda stuff, but I’m starting to think that its pretty good advice, so . . . maybe you should take it. Because if you want me and the twins to get along, for them to be happy, for the school to be safe . . . these secrets are going to tear us apart.
Alaric: If you’d asked me a week ago, I would’ve told you that I knew the difference between myth and fact. I would’ve said that supernaturals were limited to the species under this roof. I would’ve said that folklore and fairy tales were just stories. But I can no longer say that any of that is true, because just a few days ago we were confronted by the existence of a dragon. And then, today, our campus was terrorized by a gargoyle come to life. Some of us were forced to fight. We won. This time. They were drawn here by a knife that went missing earlier this week. For whatever reason, these creatures consider us to be the enemy. In their minds, we’re the villains because we won’t give them what they want. We don’t even know why they want it. But we’re going to find out –
Dorian: You’re really tryin’ to kill me, huh?
Alaric: More like you’re one of the only people I can trust.
Dorian: I’ll call if I run into any problems. Oh, and I wanna raise. With dental.
Alaric: – I can’t say for sure what their true intentions are. I can’t say there won’t be more attacks. That’s why I’m telling you this. To warn you. To ask you to look out for each other. To do what’s best for one another. Because we’re more than just a school. We’re a family. And we will stand together. We will fight together. And we will win or lose this battle together, no matter what comes next.
I really liked Alaric’s speech!
What was your favorite line?
Join us tonight, for an all new episode . . . where maybe we find out what’s lurking in the forest outside the school’s gate!