Mystic Falls Messenger
With heavy heart and fond farewell for the summer, we bring you the most highly opinionated publication in print. We’re closing like we opened, just a small town newspaper that’s a glorified gossip rag.
Editor’s note: A standing round of well-deserved virtual applause to Ruthie, resident screencapper extraordinaire for another action-packed season! There ain’t no rest for the wicked, but the Editorial Staff is takin a five-month hiatus! Oh, my, did we say FIVE months?
FUTURE OUTLOOK BLEAK FOR GRADUATING SENIORS

MFPD inexplicably failed to investigate reports of an unruly flash mob threatening to mar graduation festivities at the local high school. A huge group of vagrants was spotted trolling the freshly decorated MFHS football stadium in advance of commencement activities. Neighbors awoke to public address system tomfoolery, overhearing a broadcast of menacing statements. Some reported an eerie, foreign-sounding male voice, spouting a sermon-like oration about massacres of lions, tigers, and bears, oh my hybrids, witches, and innocents. The group dispersed quickly after broadcasting a threat to unleash Hell on Earth. Rumor has it the mob was a group of dissatisfied drop outs all previously named Most Likely Not To Succeed. Film at eleven (or when the full moon rises).
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